I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
