and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I still have a little drunk in my system
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
