I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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