You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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