NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
