I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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