omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
