that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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