I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
