Only a mothe r could love this liver
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize