I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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