Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
