Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
