What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
