You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
