dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
True strength comes from lack of pants
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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