I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
