My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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