Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
