And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
