He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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