I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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