please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
