Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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