It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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