oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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