Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
