Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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