i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I DEMAND FORESKIN
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
