Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
