hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
