The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
