was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
