this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
