If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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