well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
