dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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