so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
