So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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