oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
