Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Randomize
