Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
