Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
