I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
