he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize