The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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