were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
