lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
