Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
