My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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