Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
