If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
