Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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