shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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