OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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