I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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