Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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