im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
