Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
