In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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