every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
4 words: hood of his car
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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