I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
