I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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